They say love triumphs all, and when you’re in love the rest of the world seems to be one big blur. What matters to you is that special one and not a single minute would pass without you thinking of them. Love is a wonderful emotion and some even take the next step in committing to Love by marriage. However not all relationships are magical as emphasized in Rom-coms and Fairytales, the reality is far less simple. Even prejudices can lead to accusations and end relationships – or worse – Marriages.
According to Psychology Today, in the nearly four decades between 1970 and 2008, the divorce rate has more than doubled, from 2.6 divorces for every 1,000 married people to 5.5. Those results are averaged across all the regions of the world. We can only see the numbers keep increasing each year. There are many factors that contribute to it. If you have been in failed relationships or getting into a brand new relationship, this would be quite helpful. Let’s look at a few underlying reasons why great relationships sometimes fall apart.
Expecting things to stay the same
Life is all about change and mastering life requires your talent in tackling obstacles and adapting to change. The same applies to relationships. Beginnings are always beautiful with hour-long conversations and planning your future together, but this won’t remain forever. With life-changing constantly, people happen to change too and it’s unavoidable. If you feel like your partner has changed but you want to stay the same, then you must accept the change in them. Forcing your partner to stay the same could lead to many conflicts in the future.
Afraid of being alone
Loneliness is the greatest enemy of Love. At first, the relationship may seem all sweet but then the boundaries disappear. This is one common mistake many people make in the present day. With our careers taking up most of our time and effort, when the time comes for a little break we find ourselves isolated with no friends and no partner to share our lives with; but being lonely is not a reason to jump into a relationship. It may start off that way, but make sure that you actually like the person and that they’re compatible. Because with time when things start changing, and they start changing, you may regret getting into this relationship in the first place.
Too many assumptions
Here’s small advice for all couples out there, ‘Communicate with each other!!’ Whenever there’s a rift between the two of you, don’t assume the worst, just talk it out and ‘NO TEXTING’. One of the biggest problems couples make these days is texting their feelings. Texts display no emotion. Make a call or meet in person, Love is an emotion, express it and let your emotions guide you. There are always two sides to a story and assuming never helped anybody ever. So constantly communicate with your partner. If you’re busy, allocate a specific time especially for them. If you’re unable to even make little time for your better half, you’re not yet ready for a relationship.
Hanging on to the past
Your past or your partner’s past can be a dark time or something that neither one of you is happy about, but if you or your partner brings up each other’s past during every little quarrel, your relationship may have serious issues that need to be spoken out with a help of a therapist. The past is gone, but if either of you still haven’t got over it, the fault may be due to some other condition that you or your partner has undergone as a child.
Secrets destroy relationships. Some even believe keeping secrets are equal to cheating. Relationships are about trust and if you or your partner has some dirt under the rug, it’s best to clean them out before things get serious. The longer it stays, the harder it is to get over it. This may even lead to your eventual breakup. Speak it out if it’s from your side, and make your partner comfortable around you so they can speak out if they have anything to say.
You only think about yourself
This doesn’t mean you’re a selfish person who cannot love. You’re just not ready to share your love and efforts with a complete stranger. It’s pretty common if you’ve had a troubled past or a childhood involving heartbreak. If your partner shows signs of neglect when it comes to you or your needs, it means that they need a break. They might not accept it, but love begins from within. Your partner needs to love herself/himself first before extending that love to another.
Not being on the same page
Although relationships are about diversity, together you should have the same goals. This doesn’t mean you must only have joint goals, but support one another in dreams and achievements. Both partners must be on the same page for a relationship to work. If one of either gives little attention or has completely given up on communicating properly on matters, it could lead to future conflicts and could even result in a split.
Your relationship lacks respect
Love is respect. This respect includes loyalty, trust, and recognition. A healthy relationship consists of two independent individuals with two different personalities and opinions who recognize and respect one another. If you live under your partner’s limelight, your partner’s respect towards you may fade away over time. It would be the same vice versa, so empower each other, and maintain respect for one another.
So there it is! The very basic factors that lead to the demise of great relationships. If you’ve been through heartbreak or initiated a split up, now you could understand what lead to it. Going through heartbreak doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world, sometimes things happen for a reason. Don’t hurry to find a partner if you’re not ready. Work on yourself first, love yourself and when the right time comes you’d meet your special one! But be monogamous.