Nerdy or not, we all have our fantasies and desires. It’s a part of the human psyche to crave certain scenarios that rarely occur in real life. Rest assured, your boyfriend has definitely fantasized of various things that you don’t engage in.

Knowing what your boyfriend secretly wants can bring a level of excitement and fun to the relationship. This is why you shouldn’t be afraid to ask and learn a bit more about what’s going on inside his head.

Obviously, every guy wants something different. It’s impossible to come up with a list of universal desires. Based on studies and surveys, however, here are a few of the things that the majority of men crave (even if they’re not willing to admit to their partners).


According to Psychology Today, appreciation is one of the things that most guys desire without actually admitting that to their significant others.

It’s an instinctive, subconscious thing.

Men, although they’re supposed to be the stronger sex, can be very vulnerable. They face lots of pressures on a daily basis, which gets their egos pretty fragile and easy to bruise.

Being appreciated and cherished by a partner can counter all of these external pressures and confidence killers. For it to be effective, however, appreciation has to be genuine. Thus, you may want to compliment him on everything that he does right or excels in. Don’t force it! Crossing the line and making your appreciation over-exaggerated is very easy and that can have the exact opposite effect.

Sexual Boldness

Our society suggests that men are the ones who have to take the lead and initiate when it comes to sex and spicing things up.

Most guys, however, fantasize about a woman who is sexually bold and liberated. A woman who’d take the charge in the bedroom, bring new experiences and experiment with her sexuality.

It’s ok to jump his bones every once in a while – he’ll definitely enjoy such sexual “aggressiveness.”

Also, think about your fantasies and share those with your partner. If you’re open and honest, chances are that he’ll reciprocate. Open sexual communication can definitely increase heat and diversify the routine. Both of these can be very beneficial, especially if you’ve been in a relationship for a couple of years already.

Don’t be afraid to test out roleplay, kinks and sex toys. This guide from HotCherry will shed some light on the possibilities (and it will only get you started – that’s just how diverse the adult toy world has become).

Impulsiveness and Randomness

Has planning become a part of your everyday routine? If so, your boyfriend could be tired of it.

Most guys dream of a woman who’s spontaneous and impulsive. So, organize a small weekend getaway for the two of you. Welcome him when he comes back from the office with nothing on. Enjoy a public display of affection, just like you did when you were a teenager.

Don’t edit your desires to fit a certain agenda. If you feel like acting childish and impulsive, do so. Randomness adds a bit of excitement and fun to a relationship. This is why those first days are so exciting – both partners don’t know what to expect from the other. Recreating such experiences is going to be easy if you simply trust your gut and go for the things that make you happy.

Mushy Romance

This one may come as a surprise. Romantic gestures are often portrayed as things that guys do for the ladies in their lives. Did you know, however, that men desire mushy romance as much as women do?

Studies show that men often feel most loved when they’re being hugged, kissed and praised by their partners. It’s not true that sex is the only thing on their mind. In fact, recent research suggests that men think about sex much less often that believed to.

Romantic gestures show that you’ve tried to put together something special for your boyfriend. In a sense, they create a sense of appreciation, which brings us back to the first point. Romantic gestures are just one way to show appreciation and love. Even if the thing is small and insignificant, it can deliver a huge emotional impact.

Fun Outside the Bedroom

Great sex is obviously the core of a stable relationship but it’s not the only one. Just think about it – how often do you have fun together and do activities outside of the bedroom?

Chemistry can only take you so far if you don’t know how to have fun together in a clean way.

Most men want to have a good time with their girlfriends both in the bedroom and out of it. So, you may want to take some interest in his hobbies or share yours. You may plan a day during which you’ll learn a new skill together or try something that you’ve never done before.

Relationships require effort in many different facets of life. People who enjoy happily, harmonious connections are often perceived by others as partners in crime. So, start thinking about fun outside the bedroom. These are perfect bonding experiences.

Passion and Confidence

Working on yourself isn’t just going to benefit your inner world, it will also impact your relationship in a positive way.

Putting yourself down isn’t sexy.

Being confident, regardless of your shortcomings, definitely is.

Your boyfriend sees you as a beautiful, spectacular woman. It’s definitely a good idea to start working on your confidence and bringing his vision to reality.

Confidence is incredibly sexy and enticing. It doesn’t really matter if you have a few extra pounds, cellulite or stretch marks. Loving yourself and being at peace with who you are will definitely turn him on and make him fall even more in love.

So, don’t be afraid of having sex with the lights on or trying a new and somewhat revealing outfit. He believes that you are an incredible woman. Show him that his belief is actually true.

Finally, don’t be afraid of asking your boyfriend if there’s something he wants but isn’t willing to tell you. Such conversations can build intimacy and trust. And once you have such valuable information, you can definitely start working on taking the relationship to the next level.

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