Women are way worse at driving than men. At least that’s what the misogynistic uncles at family gatherings like to say. But it’s true, right? With so many women on the roads, it must be scary for men to be surrounded with all of these bad drivers. You hear it in every joke on every corner, so it must be a fact. So let’s give lady drivers some driving tips they most definitely need in their life:
Stick to the left lane
Since you’re a lady driver, there is no way you are driving fast enough to be in the right lane and overtake other drivers. So just know your place and stick to the left lane where all the slow drivers are. If there is by any chance a driver slower than you, just use the extra time you have while going slow to make a checklist of all the things you have to do after your drive. The right lane is for overtaking, but there are so many men going really fast there that you might get lost and confused, so just try to stick to going slow.
Be careful of your beams
High beams are used when you need to see the road better and there’s nobody around you. Of course, the good, experienced male drivers can also use them to signal any issues on the road, but your limited driving knowledge means you’ll probably just signal something wrong and cause a mess, so don’t try to do more than you need to. High beams are usually used outside of the city, where roads aren’t lit up enough, but since women rarely drive long distance and outside of cities, chances are you won’t be needing your high beams at all.
Be confident behind the wheel
You spent your whole life hearing jokes about women being bad drivers and every bad driver on the road being assumed to be a woman. However, you still have to be confident and secure when you sit behind the wheel. On a real note, it’s important that your driving skills are up to par, and if you need some extra lessons, look for EzLicence driving lessons so that you can feel confident while driving and not add to the pile of stereotypes of women being bad drivers.
If you’re in an accident
No matter what happens – it’s not your fault! And that is exactly what you should tell the police officers when they arrive. Well, that is if you don’t manage to get out of it first. Just pull up your skirt and pull down your top then start batting your eyelashes. The more flustered and confused you look – the better! People know what a bad driver you are because of your genetics, so just use that to your advantage and get out of any accident.
A good navigator
We can’t let people think that women are completely useless in the car! Just tell people that you’re a great navigator – even though looking at maps and navigation are really man-jobs and there’s no way you can do them with your lady skills. But perhaps you can play some good music and take selfies while you’re driving – and that’s good enough, right? Just make sure you’re not bothering the man who’s driving – obviously, the 80% of accidents are caused by men exclusively because there was a woman next to them bothering them while they were driving.
So ladies, be realistic about your capabilities and remember that Danica Patrick being one of the best drivers in history is just a fluke. So get into your mini-van with the kids and safely drop them off at school – after all, a man can’t be bothered with driving that slow!