The theme of infidelity has been portrayed in thousands of movies, books, and songs. In most depictions, the male partner is usually the one who is unfaithful, when in reality, women are just as capable of lying and cheating on their partners and spouses. Adultery can destroy a relationship and break the mutual trust the couple once shared, but while breaking up may seem like the only plausible choice, things can be a lot more complicated than one might presume. There’s a right way and a wrong way to go about anything, including dealing with an unfaithful girlfriend. On that note, here’s what we think is the right way to handle the situation.
Confirm Your Suspicions
Unless you’ve seen your girlfriend cheating with your own eyes, you’ll need to confirm your suspicions and prove her infidelity. There are certain red flags that you should look out for before you randomly start blaming or accusing your partner of cheating on you. The signs you can look for include lack of intimacy, newfound fixation with appearance, and distracting behavior.
You might notice that your girlfriend lost interest in you sexually or that she is emotionally withdrawn. She might also seem distracted and preoccupied with something else most of the time, or she might start acting aloof, constantly forgetting plans you’ve made together and making new obligations with unidentified “friends.” If she tends to close the chat window every time you walk into the room or reacts awkwardly when she gets certain calls in your presence, then this is another sign that she might be trying to hide something from you.
Confront Your Girlfriend
After gathering enough proof to confirm your suspicions, you need to have an open discussion with your girlfriend. Many people dread confrontation, but asking the hard questions is sometimes necessary to get past certain situations. If you can’t decide on the best way to go about this, you can see how other people have handled similar situations. If you type “my girlfriend cheated on me” in the Google search box, you’ll find hundreds of threads and blog posts about the experiences of people who were once in your shoes. No matter how you choose to approach this sensitive and uncomfortable topic, open and honest communication is key.
Talking about it, hearing her admit it, and understanding why she cheated on you in the first place isn’t going to be easy, but it’s the first step towards healing. Whatever decision you take regarding the future of your relationship will depend on this conversation, so don’t be afraid of ripping the bandaid off.
Figure Out What you Want to Do
Walking away from an unfaithful partner may seem like the obvious choice, but it’s not necessarily the best one for you. If you feel that you would be happier on your own or that you will not be able to trust your girlfriend anymore, then breaking up might be the best way to deal with the situation and start the healing process. To truly move on, you’ll need to keep as much distance as possible between the two of you, and this could mean moving out if you live together, hanging out at different places, or even skipping certain events where she might be present. It’ll be difficult at first, but things will get easier with time.
If, on the other hand, you and your girlfriend want to try to work things out, then maybe you can find a way to come back from this. This won’t be easy, though. Forgiveness isn’t just about pardoning a person’s hurtful behavior and letting grudges and bitterness go; it’s about repairing the problem areas that led to this situation and making a joint effort to move on and salvage the relationship. So, instead of dwelling on infidelity, you’ll need to look back at the things that brought you together in the first place and build on them. It’ll take time for you to rebuild your trust and get over the anger and betrayal, so don’t hesitate to seek help from a couples counselor or close friends and relatives who won’t take sides.
Discovering that your partner is unfaithful can bring about a whirlwind of emotions. You might be tempted to give your cheating girlfriend a taste of her own medicine, but this won’t relieve you from the pain or anger. Hurting a person who’d hurt you back is only going to give them reasons to justify their action. So instead of seeking revenge, focus on healing and moving on. Whether you decide to work through it or break up is completely up to you, but if you want to give your girlfriend another chance, make sure you address the situation properly. Otherwise, this could be a recurring pattern.